Dear Barc...

We filmed our first Dear Barc over a week ago, in the mountains east of Superior, Az., right after emerging from the death tunnel in the background. Stay tuned for more sage advice.

Don't let the sunlit images fool you. All is not as it seems. Our most recent living-room-floor hostess, El Paso Erica, Dungeon Master and Keeper of All Things Adobe (she tours the globe teaching Adobe to eager disciples), is developing new cycling software that will allow us to capture, for the first time in the history of Mankind, images of the wind.  Tailwinds will be represented by gently-smiling Mother Teresa's holding a flannel blanket, flapping it with stick arms - gently for a mild breeze, manically for the kind of sandstorm maelstrom that swept Seb and I into Erica's lair the other day in El Paso.  Crosswinds will be Auntie Em's, sweeping out the featherlight farmhouse with a broom, occasionally blowing a strand of old lady hair out of her face, and looking irritated even when she's happy.  Headwinds - oh headwinds, the black hole where biker happiness goes to die, are millions of Kim Kardashian's shot from (her massive) behind, naked, arched-back, too-smug-for-words, spewing clouds of noxious, culturally-deadening flatulence, mixing vacuity, vapidity, entitlement, and self-absorption - talk about your black holes. Hurricane headwinds include, of course, Kanye. Get your wallets out for Wind Me Up, coming soon to your local bike shop (patent pending).

Two days ago we had Mother Teresa.  Yesterday was Kim and Kanye - ALL DAY. Twice we sought refuge from the wind below I-10 overpasses (as demonstrated by our model above). We've discovered, have Seb and I, that in the desert, you may be able to remember your name, but finding a natural feature large enough to escape the wind is a different matter entirely. And, by golly, that's not all: in many of the long stretches of desert through which we ride, including yesterday, even man-made, above-ground structures can be fifty miles apart; hence our soon-to-be-published self-help book: Bike Like a Troll: Lose Weight and Be Happy Underneath the Shiny Surface.

Now, like a school project that you want to fluff out, I'm just going to include a few photos for your viewing pleasure...

Shadows of our former selves...

A little sumpin' sumpin' for two lonely bikers to look forward to...

Birds of a feather...

Enough with the photos. Seb and I are taking a day off at the Days Inn in Van Horn, Texas. Two factors helped us make this decision: 1) a wicked wind this way blows and 2) it's snowing outside - no joke. So we're hunkered down, tv on, doing laundry and blogs, warm and safe from Kim, Kanye, and Killer Kold.

Peace out.