RECIPE FOR A SUCCESSFUL FATHER AND SON CROSS-COUNTRY BICYCLE TRIP

Ingredients

1 dad who pays for everything, as long as everything means PB&J's, roadside camping, and reliance on the kindness of strangers.

1 son with remarkably low expectations of accommodation, diet, and dad.

1 shared belief system that showering and laundry, like the multiverse, are interesting theoretical concepts, but unimportant to daily existence.

2 much time on your hands

4 titude

4 bearance

10 sion deficit disorder

23 inches of precipitation

2000 kilometres of desert

525,735 metres of total ascent

Preparation

Roll out of airport on lightly flowered surface and, after 3 blocks, knead to tighten handlebars as Emer turns right but goes straight.

Slowly mix in fortitude as you climb over the Sierra Nevadas in the first 3 days, beating yourself up for not starting in better shape.

Set oven on broil and freezer on icicle, then place desert in a vast bowl and cycle bowl between oven and freezer until chapped and desiccated.

Add peanut butter

In a separate bowl, combine rain with forbearance, then pour into the big bowl for three weeks straight.

Sprinkle entire mixture with a dusting of ADD, but don't spend too much time on this step.

Churn everything for two months, then let sit.

Serve hot, cold, wet, frozen, and room temperature. Recipe feeds two.

Thank you Emer for a wonderful trip. We have this fantastic shared memory together, and we have it forever and ever. That's pretty neat.

Love always,

Dad